The Crucified - S/T (Ocean, 1991)

So here it is. The truth comes out. I was a christian hardcore kid. There, I said it. Don't get me wrong, I stopped believing just shy of my eighteenth birthday. I discovered existentialism, communism, the occult, science, and many other tasty resources that still matter to me. For the next few years I convinced myself I was agnostic and sixteen years later, hear I am, the curmudgeonly old atheist anarchistic half-assed buddhist asshole music snob you all know and love.

I'll get to the point. Over the past few days, I've been in a thrash crossover rut. Lots of Cro-mags, Suicidal Tendencies, D.R.I., Gang Green, Discharge, etc. You know the drill. Anyway, one you may not know is The Crucified, a Fresno band formed in 1984. The had a killer self-titled release in '89 (sweet tape score when I was fourteen), and followed in '91 with "The Pillars of Humanity". I listened to this yesterday for the first time in over twenty years and it still rules. Yes they talk about social topics from a christian perspective. No, you don't like that. But, if you're reading this blog, there is a good chance you listen to some questionable black metal bands and you let that go, don't you? I don't give care about lyrics. I like the music and I hear the voice as just another instrument.

I liked the band so much, their logo was my first tattoo.

We Still Slay.

Coven - Blessed is the Black (Ever Rat / Medusa, 1987)

I must admit that my introduction to these Seattle Doom / Thrash Metal dorks was at church. Yep, I was having to sit through the "Hells Bells" anti-rock music lecture and slideshow that so many poor kids my age were also forced to pay attention to. Well, the result was an obsession for things like occult imagery, booze, images of naked girls hanging from crosses, Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall" video, Bon Scott passed out facedown in his own vomit, and an odd affinity for the face of Anton LaVey, founder of the Church of Satan, which is burned into my subconscious for all eternity.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Coven was a pretty ridiculous yet awesome band. Everything was tongue in cheek except for the killer shredding and decent vocals. I mean how satanic is a lyric like this?

"Pulsating steel, protruding from my thigh
She who spreads is she who dies.
Long as my arm and five times as thick,
You'll die at the end
Of my iron dick."

With songs like "McDonaldland Massacre" and "6669", I'm thinking fathers should have been more concerned with their daughters keeping their pants on backstage at Coven shows than losing their teenage souls to the Lord of Darkness. These dudes were the Pub Rock of Thrash.

Regardless, get amped on this batch of bitchin' riffs and a deadly blend of Thrash and Doom.

Recommended if you don't like Forced Entry, Metal Church or The Accused.



Get this beast HERE

The Accused - Martha Splatterhead's:Maddest Stories Ever Told (Relativity, 1988)

Splatter rockers! Come together and fight to the death. It will be fun, as long as the soundtrack is none other than Washington's own gore thrash elite; The Accused. The album “Martha Splatterheads Maddest Stories Ever Told” is a fierce 39 minutes of gut-terror and metallic shreds of total insanity. The character Martha Splatterhead is some kind of zombie vigilante that destroys all child abusers and molesters alike and has grown to be a mascot of sorts. This 1988 release always finds it's way to my stereo and puts me in a fantastic mood. Maybe it's the range of screeches and wild cat throat cracks of vocalist Blaine Cook or the comic violence with all it's sinister laughter that is placed intermittently throughout the album. The overall theme of the album is horror film based, including movie samples and cute/creepy children singing about how Jesus will save them. Well, when he doesn't, there is always Martha. Rip their heads off!

--Sean Dail

Get It Here